HomeFAQRegisterLog in
Welcome To The Galaxy Traveller's! Kick Back & Enjoy Your Stay !  
Don't Be A Jerk & Lurk, Come On In & Chat
Warning do not click on the advertisments below they go to shady sites!
Latest topics
» Merry Christmas
Mon Dec 21, 2015 10:16 pm by Emma from Australia

» A Few Songs I Like
Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:28 pm by Emma from Australia

» Australian hair accessories!!!
Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:20 pm by Emma from Australia

» Australias new PM!
Wed Dec 16, 2015 3:37 pm by Emma from Australia

» A few funny pictures
Tue Dec 15, 2015 7:14 pm by Emma from Australia

» IRON
Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:20 pm by Emma from Australia

» Merry Christmas From Australia
Wed Dec 09, 2015 3:43 pm by Emma from Australia

» Give ~ Love ~ Trust
Sun May 24, 2015 8:49 pm by Emma from Australia

» FACTS YOU MAY NOT KNOW
Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:35 am by Colt Walker

Social bookmarking
Social bookmarking Digg  Social bookmarking Delicious  Social bookmarking Reddit  Social bookmarking Stumbleupon  Social bookmarking Slashdot  Social bookmarking Yahoo  Social bookmarking Google  Social bookmarking Blinklist  Social bookmarking Blogmarks  Social bookmarking Technorati  

Bookmark and share the address of The Galaxy on your social bookmarking website
Search
 
 

Display results as :
 
Rechercher Advanced Search
Give Away Of The Day

Share | 
 

 THE LAWN MOWER

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Colt Walker
Star Fleet Captain
Star Fleet Captain
avatar

Posts : 461
Join date : 2010-05-20
Location : TEXAS

PostSubject: Re: THE LAWN MOWER    Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:13 am

Gods Garden




GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have they scheduled for us tonight?"

ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a really stupid movie about.....

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.






Back to top Go down
http://www.modnoghost.com
Colt Walker
Star Fleet Captain
Star Fleet Captain
avatar

Posts : 461
Join date : 2010-05-20
Location : TEXAS

PostSubject: THE LAWN MOWER    Sat Sep 18, 2010 3:40 am

THE LAWN MOWER


A preacher was making his rounds on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.

"I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle." said the little boy.

After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"

The little boy asked if he could try it out first. He told the preacher he hadn't ridden a bicycle in a long time and wasn't sure he could still ride one. The preacher told him, "Just keep trying. It'll come back to you." After riding the bike around a little while, the little boy said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."

The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower.

The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."

The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started."

The preacher said, "I can't cuss. It's been so long since I became a Christian that I don't even remember how to cuss."

The little boy looked at him happily and said,

"You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to you."







Last edited by Colt Walker on Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:21 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
http://www.modnoghost.com
 
THE LAWN MOWER
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Galaxy :: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff-
Jump to: