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 Yankee Transplant

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Emma from Australia
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Posts : 414
Join date : 2010-05-20

PostSubject: Yankee Transplant   Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:36 pm

Dear Diary: From A Yankee Transplant



Dear Diary:

May 30th: My husband and I just moved to Texas from up
North. Now this is a place that knows how to live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!
Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful.
I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 10th: It’s really heating up. Got to 100 today!
Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an
air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun
every day like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

June 14th: Had the backyard landscaped with western
Plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze
To maintain. No more mowing the lawn for us! Another
Scorcher today, but I love it here.

June 30th: The temperature hasn't been below 100
All week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least
it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the
heat and humidity is taking longer than I expected.

July 10th: Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree
Burns over 60% of my body.) Missed 3 days of work. What a
Dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ole' sun in a climate like this.

July 15th: I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the
Car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot
Car for lunch, Morgan had died and was swollen up to the
size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather
upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells
like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more
pets in this heat.

July 20th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant blow
dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the
fritz and the A/C repairman charged $200 just to drive
by and tell me he needed to order parts!

July 21st: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3
Nights now. $1,500 in house payments and we can't even
Go inside. Why did I ever come here?

July 22nd: It's 105 degrees. Finally got the
air-conditioner fixed today.. It cost $500 and gets
the temperature down to 85, but this humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 95. Dumb repairman peed in my
pool. I hate this stupid city!

July 23rd: If another wiseass cracks "Hot enough
For you today?" I'm going to strangle him. By the
Time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes
Are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

July 24th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore
shorts and20sat on the black leather seats in the car. I lost
two layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs. Now my car
smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

July 25th: The weather report might as well be a
recording: Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's
been too hot to do anything for two months and the
weatherman says it might really warm up next week. How can it
WARM UP when it’s already 1000 freakin’ degrees?
Doesn't it ever rain in this desert?? Water rationing will be
next, so I might as well watch $1700 worth of cactus just dry
up and blow into the pool! Even the cactus can't live in
this heat!

July 26th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 105
today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out
of the car. The installer came to fix it and said,
"Hot enough for you today?"

My husband had to spend the $1500 house payment to
bail me out of jail.

Damn the South! WHAT KIND OF A SICK DEMENTED PERSON WOULD
WANT TO LIVE HERE?!?!??!!











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