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 Parrot Jokes

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Colt Walker
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PostSubject: The Captain's Parrot   Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:31 pm

The Captain's Parrot



A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience was different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in middle of the show,

"Look, it's not the same hat!"
"Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.

One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another. On the third day, the parrot could not hold back any longer:

"OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"






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Colt Walker
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PostSubject: Re: Parrot Jokes   Tue Aug 17, 2010 2:26 am

Swearing Bird

A man had just bought a talking parrot from the pet store but when he gets home the bird keeps swearing at him, after a while the man gets a bit fed up and says to the bird "if you keep that up I'll put you in the fridge!" "F#$@ you" says the bird, so the bloke chucks him in the fridge.
Ten minutes later he checks on the bird and asks "have you learnt your lesson?" the bird replies "no I fuckin havent" so the bloke decides to chuck him in the freezer for more punishment.
After another 10 minutes he opens the freezer to check on the bird, and the bird says warily "what'd the fuckin chicken do??"




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PostSubject: Don't Talk To The Parrot   Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:44 pm

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman,
'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check.'




'Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike.
He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!'

'I REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!'

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he
discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just
as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.



The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant
yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't
contain himself any longer and yelled,

'Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!'




To which the parrot replied,

'Get him, Spike!'


See Men just don't listen!




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PostSubject: Parrot Jokes   Sat May 29, 2010 6:14 pm

Parrot Jokes








Original Video - More videos at TinyPic



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