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 LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES

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Colt Walker
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PostSubject: LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN...   Thu Oct 04, 2012 5:53 am

LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN...


The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.


Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, That was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'


Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him. Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.'


The teacher sat down and cried.



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PostSubject: You Don't Have One of THESE   Sat Sep 08, 2012 12:27 pm

You Don't Have One of THESE

Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, "I have one of these and you don't."

The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother.

The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, "I have one of these and you don't."

But this time the little girl just keeps on playing.

"How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny.

"My mother told me," says the little girl, pulling up her dress, "that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want."



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PostSubject: Re: LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES   Fri Sep 07, 2012 7:03 am

The Substitute Teacher

Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.

She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter."

The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy."

A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.

Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter."

"That's right!" she coaxed.

Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. Crunt?"



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PostSubject: Re: LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES   Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:59 am

Mommy's Black Sponge

Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina.

He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge."

A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!"

She replies, "I lost it, honey."

A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?"

Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!"



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PostSubject: Re: LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES   Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:51 am

Mommy's Balloons

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"



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PostSubject: Re: LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES   Thu Sep 06, 2012 6:38 pm

LITTLE JOHNNY HAS THE SOLUTION


The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"

Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."



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PostSubject: LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES   Thu Sep 06, 2012 6:34 pm

LITTLE JOHNNY: THE WEE CHARMER



A door-to-door salesman comes-a-knocking and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers, a beer in one hand and a lit cigar in the other.
The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mommy home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What the hell do you think?"




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